After a loss

I have not lost a dog to this. I want to say that first, plainly, because the last thing you need is someone performing a grief they did not live. What I can do is not look away, and point you toward people whose actual work is this kind of loss.

I am sorry. Your dog mattered. This is as big as it feels.

People who do the real work of this

We link rather than replicate. Grief support is not our competence, and we are not going to pretend it is. These are real people and real organisations whose work is exactly this.

• Lap of Love Pet Loss SupportFree and paid virtual sessions with certified pet-loss coaches, including small groups. (opens in a new tab)
• Cornell Pet Loss Support HotlineA US phone line staffed by trained veterinary student volunteers. It keeps US Eastern hours, and they change, so check before you call. (opens in a new tab)
• Humane World for AnimalsPlain guidance on grief after a pet dies, from the group formerly called the Humane Society of the United States. (opens in a new tab)

When you are ready, and not before

There is the question of the crate, the pram, the leftover medicine, the bowl. There is no timeline for any of it. Some people give the gear to another dog who needs it; some cannot look at it for a long time. Both are normal. You are not behind.